Last night as I was surfing Netflix, I came across ‘The Principles of Pleasure’, a documentary series on female sexuality. It was refreshing to see this important topic tackled head on. The series acknowledged how many of us struggle to openly discuss sex. I plead guilty.
Did you get “the talk” from your parents? I ask because a lot of us did not. Let’s be real, most of us learned from our friends. Sometimes from a school presentation, which often led to more questions than answers. Or in my case, a short pamphlet given to me by Mom. Later in life, I learned that the pamphlet was more than she got from her Mom, which was nothing. I always thought I would do better with my girls, but not so much. I gave them a book. Still an awkward topic.
Let’s break through some barriers and talk about women’s sexuality. Since I have a hard time talking to my girls about sex, maybe I can write it in a blog. Baby steps, right?
Here are the things I've learned over the years and want every woman to know:
It’s important
Sex will most likely be an important component to your happiness. Make sure you enjoy it. Learn everything you can about what it. Explore, read, ask and talk.
Your orgasm may be elusive
Only about 25% women have orgasms with vaginal sex alone. Read that again. I think there’s a lot of ignorance here. That’s a huge percentage. But don’t despair, this just means to fully enjoy sex, you may need some additional stimulation. I’m not going to cover the details here, but suffice it to say, you have options.
Self pleasure is not only ok, but encouraged
It’s extremely important to learn what feels good to you. And there’s no better way than to explore what you like and what you don’t like by yourself. Then you can communicate this to your partner. Just remember he or she may be clueless so you may have to educate them.
It’s ok to talk about and ask questions
If my girls start quizzing me on the topic of sex, I’ll most likely turn fifty shades of red. However, I’ll answer their questions the best I can and remind myself how important it is (I suspect I'd be the last one they'd ask anyway). We all need to be more open on discussing this important topic.
Even though I’m only into episode 1 of ‘The Principles of Pleasure’, I’d recommend it. I thought I knew a lot about sex but learned quite a bit more. Another great resource is Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s book ‘Guide to Good Sex’ which covers just about everything. It should be recommended reading for all.
Let’s break down those barriers so we can help each other flourish.
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